You’re young, confused and you’ve logged on. You browse the pictures and are taken by a particular profile. You get taken in and you’re suddenly falling for the user on the other end of the line.
And then it happens. The user on the other end of the line isn’t who you expect.
You get into a serious tailspin. What does this mean? What does this say about you?
You begin to doubt yourself. You’ve admitted some pretty personal things to this user and now you feel… betrayed. Confused.
This user misrepresented himself, you think.
This user lied about himself, you repeat to yourself.
This user is not what I expected.
What exactly were you expecting? Where exactly do you come by the assumption that online conversations are based on anything than pure unfiltered dialogue between two minds?
But the real fly in the ointment is the fear that you actually might love the person you’ve been corresponding with and you are too ashamed of yourself to admit this.
What if that person turns out to be an amazing, intelligent and beautiful individual? What if that person is someone you could be with?
What will my friends think of me? My parents? My employer? My wife?
I’m constantly hearing the same message over the endless chatter and back-and-forth messaging between users.
“What if we like each other?”
And my response to them is this:
“What are you really afraid of?”
If you’re afraid of being tagged as something you’re pretending to be, for the sake of your reputation or your business, I understand but it’s going to make you so miserable that you’ll be endlessly split between two lives.
Maybe you’re protecting your kids. Maybe you’re afraid of being fired.
But ask yourself if it’s really worth living in fear, like a rat in a gilded cage of your own making, just to please your superiors and conform to your peers’ expectations.
Is it really better to just follow the rules?
So you may deny yourself the love you seek because of fear. Does it not occur to you that others may feel the same way and are fed up with convention, fed up with the same old rules and traditions, fed up with religion and with the culture of shame and guilt.
But if you keep your head down, child, and squirrel away your nuts for the long cold winter of your lonely little life and never, ever open yourself up to the possibility of love, then, my love, you are doomed. If what others think of you is so important that you are willing to choose that over being with someone who could be your rock and your strength, then you will never find the love you need.
The world has an endless abundance of misery, ignorance and pain. Why add to it?